Glimpses
by AliyahNCIS
Summary: One-shot series: Tiva moments re-imagined. What could've happened, what might have been. How they got together, how they fell apart, what together looks like, and any other variation that fits. All Tiva, all the time, mostly hopeful with some angst and a good helping of hurt/comfort.
1. 4x1 Shalom

_A/N: Alright, here we go! Welcome to the first chapter of my new one-shot series Glimpses. Updates should be every day depending on my schedule, twice a day if the chapters are very short. Thanks for all the lovely comments left on my fluffy T&Z one-shots, clearly the plot bunnies are good for something, lol :P So, enjoy and feel free to tell me what you think! :) _

"Tony, I am fine!" Ziva protested, when Tony put his arm around her back to help her out of the car.

Tony gave her a 'you've got to be kidding me' look and hovered beside her as they walked into the building. The elevator ride was silent and then Ziva dug in her pockets for her keys. He snatched them away with a triumphant grin and her eyes narrowed.

"Tony."

He sighed. "Just let me take care of you, okay?"

She gave up and followed him into her apartment. Tony saw her settled on the couch and returned a few minutes later with a couple soft ice packs and some pills for her to swallow. Reluctantly Ziva accepted the drugs and took the smaller ice pack for her nose.

Tony lifted up her shirt to apply the other one and his eyes widened at the mottled purple and red bruises covering her abdomen. "Oh Ziva." He ghosted his fingers over the marks and then gently applied the cold pack to her skin. Ziva hissed and he winced. "Sorry honey."

She closed her eyes and shrugged. "It was my turn to take several for the team. You were the one beaten up last time."

Tony stared at her seriously. "I can handle it better when it's me than you." Ziva smiled slightly, but otherwise didn't move. After awhile he stroked her cheek. "Why didn't you call me?"

Ziva struggled to force her eyes open. "What?"

He swallowed. "You were in trouble but you went to Mossad, you hid in Gibbs' basement. Why didn't you call me?"

The hurt in his voice was obvious and she sighed. "I did not know what was going on, but I was clearly a target. You are my partner, I could not put you in danger too."

Tony slid his fingers between hers. "I'm more than just your partner."

"That is exactly why I called Gibbs," Ziva elaborated. "I care too much to put you in the crossfire."

He leaned closer and brushed his lips over hers, careful not to bump her nose. She would be hurting for awhile. "Shouldn't I get some say in that?"

Ziva pushed him into position beside her and leaned against his side, putting her hand over his on her stomach. "Next time I will call."

He grinned. "Good. Now let's get you to bed."

She groaned. "That better not be what it sounds like."

Tony chuckled. "Sleeping Ziva. Just you, and me as your living, breathing body pillow. Fully clothed, I promise." _Just like always_, he thought. They weren't willing to rush things at all. In this case Tony wanted something different than he'd always gotten before.

His proposal took some consideration because Ziva was so comfortable she had no incentive to move, but finally she agreed. He helped her up, and saw the pinched look on her face when she drew a breath. Together they made it to her room and Tony pulled the sweater over her head, dropped a kiss on her shoulder, and slid a tank top down to cover her. He got the clasp on her bra and Ziva took it off without exposing anything. After taking her at her word that she could find pyjama bottoms by herself, Tony lay down in a t-shirt and sweatpants and held the blankets for his girlfriend, then carefully pulled her close and breathed in her hair.

"You did good today Zi, I'm proud of you."

The pain pills were kicking in and Ziva smiled sleepily. "Toda." She wove their fingers together and fell asleep while Tony held her, so thankful for that chance, knowing he could've lost her today. But they were okay, it just might take a few days for that to sink in. He sighed and kissed her temple.

"Sometimes I think I love you Ziva." He just wasn't sure if he'd ever have the courage to say it when she was awake.

_Replies:_

_Sarah (NA 5) - You're welcome. Well, I'm not saying anything would happen or that Eli would try that, but it makes me nervous just the same. Glad you liked the end, I've been saving the baby name 'Evany' for awhile. I figure, especially at that age, the idea of having a baby around might be a little concerning, but I doubt he'll have much to worry about. I added more of Siah and Evany because they were pretty cute and it was nice of Z's thoughts to wrap everything up. Thanks for reviewing! :)_

_Guest (NA 5) - Hi :) Glad you liked the ending. haha...well, I like fluffy and happily ever after, so I'm bound to be predictable once in awhile. Dayne is very glad to have fans, thank you for giving him a chance. It does let us see a different side of Z because he's so far removed from anything we've ever seen in her life. You're welcome, thanks for reviewing :)_

_NCISProbie (EH 2) - It's nice to know that people read more than just my big series, thanks :) Aww...well, I'm totally happy to have made your day with the reply since your review made mine. I read every review and I try to reply to as many as I can because I know you guys could just as easily not leave them and I want you to know how much I appreciate the effort :) So thanks again. I'd say you're pretty good at reviews :) lol...the unseen moments are the ones that give me most of my material, so I'm thankful the show leaves room for extra creativity. lol...glad Z's reaction to G just leaving like that seems plausible. I try to stay true to the characters, tho often I do mature/evolve them to fit my purposes. Cote said something in an interview about (either 10x1 or the season in general) that she and Tony share a lot of 'loud looks'. I think that's the perfect description of those intense staring sessions they seem to have. And I always want everything to mean just a little bit more. You're welcome. I'm totally happy to make you feel special because I feel the same way whenever someone reads and reviews my writing. I never expected the kind of support I've found being part of this incredible community. If you don't have an account, you should consider getting one. PMs make it easy to chat with others :) Well, having had some authors I greatly admire reply to my reviews for their stories, I think I have an idea of what that means. haha...I'm mostly alone in my NCIS obsession as well, tho my mom humours me when I need to gush about the T&Z moments or lack thereof. You are most definitely not alone :) Oh I know, weird huh? Also saw Fornell in an old Touched By an Angel ep - they're kind of stuck in my head now as belonging to NCIS only and it throws me off. Again, thank you so much for your review. It means a lot that you take the time :) ~Aliyah_

_Sarah (EH 2) - Thanks :) I hear there are pictures involved in the ep, so T showing Z pics of him and his mom would be even more poignant. And of course, I am hoping for a super sweet Tiva moment...we'll see how that goes. I agree that Senior dealt with the loss of his wife similarly to what Gibbs did. They were both trying to fill the empty spaces but nothing ever fit right. That is the key different tho, G would've given Kelly everything, whereas Senior preferred, it seems, to deal with his son as little as possible. It makes me sad that little Tony had to deal with that abandonment on top of losing his mom. *sigh* I'll feel better if Z hugs him tho :) I tried to find a princess name, so I'm glad that works. I figured if T was pouring his heart out, it was only fair that Z share something too. I always wondered what happened that put Eli back in his kids' lives, clearly their mom was just trying to protect them. I didn't think we had an actual date of when Z's mother died or how, so I just took a guess at the age. Thanks for reviewing!_

_ncis-1001 (EH 2) - I would love to see a scene like this on TV. I'd probably drop over in a dead faint if he actually touched her that way and she let him, lol. He's more likely to get kicked into next week. But I'm glad it worked out in FF. Can't way when I'll be updating but I will try to do at least one chapter per episode. Thanks for reviewing! :)_

_Sarah (I Do) - Thanks :) Well, as much as I think yeah, Wending leaving left him a little insecure, in this case it was more that he and Z are so close that he could sense her being in need of some reassuring. Glad they could work that out. I liked putting Celeste in there, even if it was only a few lines. I should've warned people that my RofS characters may make random appearances in other stories if I can use them. Thanks for reviewing :)_

_Sarah (WYMM) - Thanks :) Well, the first couple times I don't think T was actually being serious, I think he was testing the waters to see what kind of reaction he got. But yeah, I can imagine that when he started to feel strongly about asking, that being continually turned down would be frustrating. Glad he persevered tho :) Glad you liked the end. haha...a lot of people liked the line about him not being able to kiss her. I could see T&Z doing something totally unconventional like this, should it ever happen. Thanks for reviewing! :)_

_Joy Booth (WYMM) - I agree. lol...I think fans feel pretty strongly about the fact that a life must exist for the team somewhere outside those orange walls. Many things are assumed and guessed at, I think some of us would have to be right some of the time ;) I hope they hang out without work being involved. Thanks for reviewing! :)_


	2. 4x16 Dead Man Walking

_A/N: lol...wow, guess I forgot a few things here, huh? Sorry guys. I had the first one labeled as Shalom in my original document, but forgot to transfer that info when I posted. Yes these will all be tagged to episodes. Any ep in any season is up for grabs. Moments may be before, during or after a scene, or simply expanded from something we saw. I'll try to keep them in order of when the episodes happened, but that just depends on inspiration. Most will be unrelated, any that are continuations of each other will be labeled as such. Feel free to ask questions, I know I don't always explain things very well. Thanks for all the reviews so far guys, hope you all enjoy the rest of this series. It will likely be 12-14 chapters. Happy reading! :) ~Aliyah_

Tony found Ziva sitting on a bench in the park, her fingers clenched tightly around an orange hat. He lowered himself beside her and said nothing to disturb the silence. Finally Ziva reached up to wipe her face and shook her head. "We had a connection. I have never felt that way before, never fallen so fast."

"Not even with me?" Tony dared to ask.

She looked at him sadly, remembering back to last summer when Gibbs left. "It was different Tony, we had been partners for more than a year. But I lost my chance then too, yes?" Ziva swallowed and focused on the orange cap. "I have never hoped the way I did with Roy. He was dying and still he made me feel as if we had a chance." She sighed. "I think...he could have made me happy."

Tony blew out a breath. "Yeah, I got that. I like seeing you happy Ziva, that's why I faked radiation poisoning so you two could take a walk."

Ziva balled the hat up in her lap. "He was so stupid! He kept going out and smoking and I did not see. That is what killed him. Gibbs told me to stay with him but-"

Tony put his hand over hers. "This wasn't your fault Ziva. Sometimes bad things happen to good people." He rubbed his thumb across her skin. "I wish Gibbs had put me on protection detail instead."

She glanced at him. "Trying to protect me Tony?"

His answer was quick. "Would if I could. I still care Ziva."

Ziva was quiet for a long moment. "Thank you for being there, I needed a friend."

Tony's smile was small. "I know."

She sniffed and wiped at her cheek again. "I am sorry for what I said to you about love. I know this girl is different."

He sighed. "Yeah, she is." _But if I'd fought for you, maybe I wouldn't have to settle for second best. Maybe I would've told Jenny no._ "But I guess being jealous is still an old habit."

There was a glimmer of a smile in Ziva's eyes and when he stayed and held her hand until the sun set, then insisted on walking her home, all she felt was thankful to have Tony in her life, even a little. Even if she never told him, it was nice to know he cared in some way. They might've lost their chance to love each other that summer, but at least they still had their friendship. Some days it was the most important thing in her life.

_Replies:_

_Sarah (G1) - You're welcome :) Yes, immediately following the end of Shalom. I think T likes being the one to take care of her, even if he wishes she wasn't hurt. It always interests me to see how they might've approached situations as a couple (which is what Moments In Time, the next one-shot series, will deal with). I would love to see a T&Z relationship that started innocently, instead of...taking things out of order :P Thanks for reviewing! :)_

_NCISProbie (G1) - You're welcome :) Well, I think you need not be nervous anymore because you excell at leaving reviews :) I love getting to chat with people on FF about NCIS, it's nice that we all have the same obsession, lol. I agree, it doesn't mean as much when you have to explain things to people. Umm...PMs aren't easier to see, just that it's an easier way to reply to reviews (then you'd get the reply privately instead of in a chapter) and also you can chat with people about non-chapter related stuff. I've made a lot of friends on FF that way. I always love when people get accounts, it's so fun :) _

_Thank you, I'm glad you liked the first chapter and that it lived up to expectations. The only reason I didn't start in S3 was because the YouTube videos I was using as my source material were on an account that has been terminated due to copyright issues. So I have what I need for S4-9, but not S3, that one I'll have to go through 'by hand' (ie. using my DVDs) to see if there's any moments that work. I liked the ending myself, because I could totally picture Tony saying that, and because the chapters aren't related, now we all get to use our imaginations about how Tony would say ILY to Z, should he ever gather enough courage. But I agree that it would be hard to keep something like that inside._

_I think most of us feel that T&Z had a connection the first time Z sat down in that chair and made Tony notice her. I hope love is like that in RL. I think there's so much between T&Z that goes on beneath the surface that we never get to see. It's disappointing because I can never get enough, I always want the 'more' - lol, thank God for fanfiction! I hope S10 truly does become the season of Tiva because really, making us wait 8 years is pushing things, lol. Thanks for the lovely review! :)_


	3. 4x19 Grace Period

"_Life's too short to not to tell someone you love them when you do; and you do."_

Paula's words echoed through Tony's mind again and again during the drive to Ziva's place. He struggled to see the road through the tears that clouded his vision and finally pulled into the guest parking spot beside her Mini. Tony was exhausted, emotionally depleted, and right now all he wanted was a hug from his best friend. As if she'd known he was coming, Ziva opened the door before Tony knocked and gestured for him to come in. She looked at him for a brief moment, assessing his emotional state, then drew him into her arms. Tony sagged against her, his body shuddering with the effort of keeping the sobs inside.

Ziva crooned soft, melodic words in her native tongue, her fingers sliding gently through his hair. After a long time she led him to the couch, hoping a movie and some cuddling might do for him what words could not. But Tony stopped her. "That could've been us."

She shook her head and placed her hand on his face. "No Tony, do not think like that."

He pulled away and started pacing back and forth in front of her coffee table. "You don't understand. I've almost lost you twice this year - once to bombs and once to the crazy ex-partner who set you up." Tony's eyes were bright when he faced her again. "I lost a friend today Ziva, a good friend. I'm so tired of losing people I care about. You're the most important person in my life Ziva." He sighed. "There's something I have to tell you."

Her brow furrowed in concentration but she stayed silent to let him speak. "The woman I've been seeing is an assignment from Director Shepard. It's...hard to play that role for so long. I put on a very convincing act and I've tried to push you away so it didn't hurt as much. But you're still there all the time being my partner, worrying about me, caring, and I suddenly realized that the feelings I pretend to have for this doctor are real feelings I have for you." Tony took in Ziva's shocked expression and rubbed his face. "Oh, I'm making a mess of this."

Working very hard to control her words so they did not tremble, Ziva crossed her arms. "Tony, what are you trying to tell me?"

He swallowed and returned to stand in front of her. His hands cupped her face and Ziva stared at him as Tony licked his lips. "I'm trying to tell you that I love you Ziva David. You've been my partner for almost two years, my best friend since last summer. You know me, and somehow you got into my heart. You don't have to say anything Ziva, I just want you to know that I love you."

Her lips parted slightly and Tony took that opportunity to lean down and kiss her. What was meant as a simple emphasis to his declaration soon became a way for Ziva to express what she did not know how to say. The second kiss found her leading it and using the contact as a way to comfort her partner, giving what she could of herself because they'd long had a connection that did not need words.

Finally they parted and Tony stared down into her eyes, then pressed his lips to her forehead while Ziva held on tight. They did eventually sit down, Ziva close to his side with her legs draped over his lap, her fingers tracing random patterns on his shirt. That Tony didn't ask for a similar statement from her spoke volumes about his new maturity. Ziva didn't think there was another time in her life when a man said 'I love you' and there were no strings attached, it was a moment she wanted to savour. And for Tony, having Ziva in his arms was everything he needed to keep the darkness away.


	4. 5x4 Identity Crisis

_A/N: I missed yesterday, this is a make up chapter :) Thanks for everything._

They walked down the stairs, Ziva gloating that the young, female FBI agent was getting a strip torn off of her by Fornell. "What do you have against her?"

She made a noise in her throat. "It is very clear what you would like to have against her."

He frowned. "Excuse me?"

Ziva gave him a look that said she wasn't stupid. "You want to sleep with her, no?" Tony blustered through something that wasn't quite an answer and her expression changed. "Same old Tony. I thought the new Tony wanted something more. A real relationship."

Tony folded his arms. "I was pretending to be someone else."

Her look was disbelieving. "You could have fooled me. I thought you had grown."

Falling back on the shallow humour he used to cover real feelings, Tony eyed her lazily. "I'm not particularly interested in outgrowing sex."

Ziva's tone sharpened. "Sure it would be nice Tony, but it would be meaningless, empty. She is a pretty girl, but she is just a girl. The man you were becoming needs a woman. At least, I thought he did."

There was regret tinging the last words and Tony perked up, speaking before she got too far. "Did you have a woman in mind?"

Her eyes shadowed. "If you cannot see it now, then you never will," Ziva said sadly, walking away.

Tony was haunted by that phrase all day. Later, as they were packing up to leave, he sauntered over and planted his hands on her desk. "What if I said I can see it this time?"

Ziva met his eyes and folded her fingers together. "You would need to prove that you have become that man."

He leaned a little closer. "What do I have to do?"

She smiled a little. "I think you will figure it out." Standing, she flicked off her desk light and grabbed her coat. "Goodnight Tony."

The senior field agent watched his partner leave and then reached for the pad of sticky notes on her desk. _Never let it be said that a DiNozzo backed down from a challenge,_ he scrawled, peeling it off and pressing the sticky strip to her computer monitor. Time would tell if he could step up to what she expected, but Tony knew the possibility of having something with Ziva would be worth all the effort.


	5. 5x8 Designated Target

_A/N: I have been wanting (and also received a few requests) to fix this scene between T&Z for a long time. The section after the break, however, is for NCISNumber1Fan, who wanted to know what happened after Tony walked by Ziva at Thomas's house. Here it is, I hope you enjoy my take. Thanks guys, you're awesome! :)_

Ziva leaned back against the vending machine beside her partner and fiddled with her snack, staring straight ahead. "Do you ever think about soulmates?"

Tony entertained a fleeting thought of blowing off the conversation, but instead he bit back the comment on the tip of his tongue and sighed. "Not anymore. I used to wonder, but I've seen too much to believe that fairy tales still have happy endings."

She glanced at him. "Who broke your belief Tony?"

He picked at his shirt sleeve. This was a story he'd never told anyone. Gibbs knew, but only because he'd been around. Then again, Ziva was the closest thing he had to a best friend. "Once upon a time, I had a fiancee." Surprise entered Ziva's eyes and he chuckled. "Yeah, I know I don't look like it, but I knew what commitment was."

Her expression held compassion and curiosity. "What happened?"

"She left me," Tony reported bitterly. "Walked away the night before our wedding." He shrugged. "That's something that did stick to me," he said, referring to her earlier comment. "After her, giving my heart away didn't seem like such a good idea. I never wanted to feel that kind of pain again." Tony shoved his hands in his pockets. "Then Jeanne left and made me choose and reminded me why I don't do serious anymore."

Ziva put her hand on his arm. "I am sorry Tony."

He tried to shrug it off. "Old news, I'm over it." But he wasn't and she knew that.

Considering her words carefully, Ziva swallowed. "I do not know what I think about soulmates, but I believe there is a woman, somewhere, who will love you and not leave." _And maybe someday you will realize she could be right in front of you._

Tony met her eyes for the first time. "Thanks Ziva."

"Do not give up Tony, Sayda says that when you meet her, you will know."

He nodded slowly and they walked back to their desks. Settling across from his partner, Tony had the strangest feeling that he'd already met his soulmate, and maybe he'd known it was her all along. But there was no point in rushing anything. Ziva wasn't going anywhere and neither was he. Best to wait and see what happened.

**NCIS**

Tony saw the look in Ziva's eyes when Sayda said goodbye to her husband and left in the back of an NCIS car. It wasn't appropriate to say anything at the time, but he found her in the alcove by the stairs later, after reports were filed and permission had been granted to leave the building. He propped his back on the wall and studied her. "You alright?"

Ziva didn't look up from her fingernails. "I am fine Tony."

He shook his head. Her eyes had told him everything he needed to know when he walked by her at the house. "No you're not." This time she glanced up long enough to see that he was in a rare serious mood. He crossed his arms. "You wanna talk about?"

She dropped her hands and mirrored his stance. "There is a reason I do not believe in hope."

Tony stared at his partner. "You're not really living unless you're hoping for something."

Ziva shrugged. "What is the point? I watched hope die today, I saw it leave in Sayda's tears."

He sighed. "I don't think I could've been that gracious. She actually forgave him."

"When you love someone like that, with all of your soul, you are vulnerable. You give them the ability to hurt you very badly." Ziva slid her hands in her pockets. "I am not sure I am brave enough to feel that kind of pain."

"Hey," Tony tapped her shoulder, "just because you let someone in doesn't mean they're automatically going to hurt you."

"Maybe someone already has," Ziva shared briefly, "or maybe it is not worth the risk."

"Don't give up Ziva," he repeated her earlier words. "I'm sure there's a guy out there who would handle your heart with the care it deserves."

She swallowed. "Do you know a man like that?"

Tony tilted his head. "He may be closer than you think."

She didn't have the energy to read between the lines right now. Her eyes were shiny when their gazes met and Ziva smiled sadly, laying her hand on his arm. "Then perhaps you will have to hope where I cannot."

She walked away then and left him in the shadows. Tony rested his head back and blew out a breath. It was so much easier to be the class clown than to have a serious conversation that actually touched his heart. Everything felt so heavy now, like it was hard to breathe. Was it possible for two broken people to help each other? That, it seemed, was a story for another time. Tonight it looked like he would be knocking on his partner's door with a bucket of ice cream and a movie to make her laugh. He hoped he never saw that kind of sadness in Ziva's eyes again. It was too hard to hurt for something he didn't know how to fix.

_Replies:_

_Cheryl (G3) - Thank you :) lol...you and me both. I wish Jeanne really had been just an assignment, but so it will be in my world. I'd actually rather she was a figment of the writers imaginations and nothing more, but it's too late for that. I will do my best, thanks for reviewing! :)_

_Sarah (G4) - You're welcome :) No, relationships like those don't happen on TV or, it seems, even in RL anymore, tho I'm still holding out hope that it's possible. I'm glad you like dhte new chapters. Roy did make an impression, I thought he handled Z really well. He was good for her, just too bad it was only a few days. Tony can be mature when necessary, even if we don't see proof of that too often, and I think he is a good friend. lol...I think, in some ways, Tony has set the bar so low that he never has to worry about failing. He needs someone to raise the bar and make him work for what he wants and needs. Someone needs to expect that he can be a good man, and watch him prove it. I think he did need to hear that. Thanks for reviewing! :)_


	6. 5x16 Recoil

_A/N: This is one of my favourites so far. Glad to hear that you guys are enjoying my version of these episode. Thanks! :)_

Tony got to the bar just in time to cut another guy off from sitting beside Ziva. She didn't even glance at him and held up her arm to signal the female bartender. "Uno mas, s'il vous plait."

"You're mixing your languages," he commented lightly, opting for non-alcoholic beer.

"And my liquors," Ziva answered, almost slurring her words.

He'd never seen her like this, drunk enough to be on the wrong side of tipsy. The bartender set the next drink down in front of Ziva and Tony slid it quickly away. "Maybe you should call it a night."

She snatched it back, causing liquid to slosh over the side. "I do not need a babysitter Tony."

"No," Tony replied slowly, "but what about a friend?"

Ziva shot him a glance through half-closed eyes. "Only a friend Tony?" Her tone was suddenly seductive and he squirmed.

"Make that offer some other time and we'll talk, but not tonight," Tony stated firmly.

She seemed disappointed. "Pity, I have often wondered if you are as good as you brag."

Again he slid the tall glass out of her reach. "If you're drunk enough to be that honest, it's time to leave." Tony signaled for the bill and looked at Ziva, who tapped her back pocket and smiled at him. He sighed. "I'm not feeling you up. Pay the lady so we can go."

Ziva raised one eyebrow. "Why should tonight be any different?" But she reluctantly dropped several bills on the counter and got up, reaching for her jacket.

Tony settled his hand on the small of her back to guide her through the crowd of patrons and out the glass doors. He indicated the side of the building with his chin. "My car is just over there."

She planted her feet and refused to move. "I am perfectly capable of driving Tony."

He wrapped his fingers around her wrist and yanked her forward. Ziva lost her balance and fell into his arms. Tony used the momentum to keep them moving. "You're perfectly capable of crashing. I'll drop you off at your car after work tomorrow."

By this time she was not interested in being cooperative, and he had to shove her into the passenger seat and buckle her seatbelt when she didn't. "You'll thank me for this later," Tony assured the annoyed woman.

She shot him a sharp glance. "I doubt it."

Having apparently resigned herself to his help once they arrived at his building, Ziva followed him sullenly up the stairs to his apartment and waited while he unlocked the door. Inside Tony led her to the kitchen and pushed two glasses of water at her before boiling more for tea. Ziva didn't speak to him again until they were sitting on the couch. She stared down at the steaming liquid in his Ohio State mug. "Have you ever almost died Tony?"

Tony leaned back and got comfortable. "Yeah, a few times. It's not pleasant."

"Two years ago I would have killed him before we even got out of the car. But now I let myself be caught...cornered. That bullet..." she reached up trembling fingers to touch the butterfly strips at her temple. Ziva swallowed. "It has never been that close."

She would choose now to act completely sober and serious. He rubbed his face. "You're not perfect Ziva."

Her eyes lifted briefly. "But I used to be."

Tony leaned forward. "Maybe that's what Mossad expected. Here you do your best and sometimes it's not good enough, but that doesn't mean you give up."

Ziva closed her eyes, but he didn't dare assume it was to hide tears. "I was right, you are a good person."

"You're my partner Ziva, if you need me, I'm here."

She set the mug on his coffee table. "I am tired."

He moved so she could lay down and pulled a blanket off the back to drape over her. The kitchen trash can got a clean bag and Tony set it next to the couch. "Sleep well Ziva, and if you're going to throw up, try to aim for the can."

She smiled faintly. "I can hold my liquor better than you."

Tony didn't argue and waited until she fell asleep. Then he brushed a curl away from her face. "You won't remember this in the morning, but I'm glad you're okay."

He flipped off the lights as he walked down the hall, stripped to his boxers and collapsed into bed. He could pinpoint the exact moment Ziva David got under his skin, but Tony had no idea just when she'd become so important to him. Tomorrow he hoped to find a way to make her smile.

_Replies:_

_Sarah (G5) - You're welcome :) It's all about expectations. It's amazing what people can do when someone has faith in their ability to be different. I'm glad you liked my version :) I think Z found out about Wendy when she sent that Christmas card to T last season, but I could be wrong about that. Tony's faced a lot of abandonment in his life, it's not surprising that he acts the way he does to cover up the hurt or to keep it from happening again. I agree, I didn't really love Jeanne, but I liked who Tony was when he was with her. T was really hurt by that and I'm kind of over people being hurt on that show. Would one healthy lasting relationship be too much to ask? I don't know if I could've had Sayda's grace, and forgiveness is a huge part of my faith. I don't know if there's any way to make that ending happy. He'd moved on with a new wife and daughter, he couldn't abandon them to be with Sayda again. I think there was no way for that situation not to hurt. I'm glad you liked the convo, I am trying to keep them more to their canon characteristics now, which is a lot different than the T&Z of RofS. Umm...to be honest, I haven't decided yet. I think part of that hurt could be referring to her brother, to her dad. And she said 'maybe', it's possible there wasn't anyone either. I guess you'll have to decide what you think fits :) Thanks for reviewing!_


	7. 7x2 Reunion

_A/N: This is a Part 1 chapter, the second part (Jetlag) will show up in episode order in a couple chapters. Thanks for reading guys!_

A knock on the door jerked Ziva's head up and she eyed the portal warily, her hand freezing mid-motion. The firm rapping came again and she stalked across the room, yanking a small back-up pistol out of her ankle holster. Taking a moment to peek through the hole, Ziva relaxed marginally and opened the door. "Tony."

He gave her a half-grin and invited himself in. "Need something to calm yourself down?" Tony asked, gesturing to her gun in pieces on a clean cloth on the bed.

She returned the backup to her ankle and crossed her arms, then remembered they were not enemies any longer after this morning's bathroom conversation, and sighed. "Why are you here?"

The echo of her words from Somalia gave Tony chills and he swallowed, glancing around the room slowly before meeting his partner's eyes. "I shouldn't've run out on you today Ziva, I'm sorry."

She shrugged. "You had a job to do."

Tony's next words slipped out before he could run them through his we're-never-completely-honest-about-things filter. "No job is more important than you."

The room fell silent and for a heartbeat neither moved or breathed. Then Ziva shook her head. "What?"

He sighed. "You're my partner Ziva. I wouldn't've gone all the way to Africa for just anyone."

She fiddled nervously with her ponytail and finally met his eyes. "When did we start sharing?"

Tony shrugged. "Since I was pumped full of truth serum and said some stuff." He shoved his hands in his pockets. "I wish you'd asked me Zi."

Her forehead creased. "Asked you what?"

"Those questions you didn't want the answers to."

Ziva rubbed her forehead. "Tony..."

"I know, I know, don't make it personal." Tony shoved his fingers into his hair and looked up at her, glaring fiercely. "I'm tired of pretending I don't care about you Ziva."

Shock and remembrance flashed through her eyes and she whispered the words before she could stop herself. "Do you ever think about soulmates?"

He stepped closer and lifted his hand to her cheek. "Yes. And I get it now Zi, I do." The look Ziva was giving him said she could not believe this was real, so Tony leaned down and pressed his lips gently to hers. The kiss was brief and her eyes were still closed when he pulled back. "Ziva," he whispered, and she met his gaze, a sheen of tears swimming in hers. Unable to help it, Tony wrapped her in his arms, but that was too much contact and she stiffened, pushing away with more force than necessary. He frowned as she crossed her arms, trying to still the trembling. "What was that for?"

Ziva refused to look in his direction and spoke through clenched teeth. "You cannot spend three months in a terror camp and come out completely unscathed."

His breath caught in his throat and Tony thought about how she looked in that room. "What did they do to you Ziva?"

She shook her head. "Nothing you need to know about. But my ribs are still sore and my back..." Ziva glanced at him briefly. "I am not used to being so close to someone who...cares."

"Okay," Tony said slowly, afraid to make the wrong move now. "But I can't just walk away tonight and act like this never happened."

She chose her words carefully. "I...we have been through a lot this summer Tony. We need some time."

He held out a hand and Ziva stared for a long time before offering hers. Her skin was cool in comparison to his warm, reassuring grip. "Take all the time you need Ziva. All I know is I don't want to lose you again." Tony barely smiled, his expression so much more serious than she was used to. "I'm really glad you're back."

Ziva didn't know what to do with his sincerity, so unexpected. But from the last few days it was already obvious that the man she remembered had changed a lot since their last meeting. "Thank you," she whispered, and it was gratefulness that extended far beyond his statement. She owed them her life. A debt Ziva had no idea how to start repaying when she still wasn't sure if being alive was worth the price.

Tony cleared his throat. "So, this is your new place, huh?"

Ziva went back to the bed and started reassembling her gun. "It is only temporary."

He stared down at his shoes. "You...uh...want help looking for an apartment?"

She sank onto the bed. "That may have to wait for a few weeks. NCIS is putting me up here, but I will need to have my position clarified before I make any...commitments."

Tony understood that she meant more than just signing a lease. "Do you need anything?"

Ziva smiled. "No. Gibbs held power of attorney for me. When I left he sold my car and managed to get some sort of compensation for my apartment." He frowned and she explained. "The explosion was deliberate, but I did not take part in it, I did not think Mossad..." She cleared her throat. "There is money in an account for me. I have been drawing from that to begin replacing my clothes and certain other belongings." Ziva gestured to the black backpack and army green duffle in the corner. "McGee saved my NCIS backpack. That is all I own at the moment."

Tony sighed. "I'm sorry Ziva..."

She was in front of him in an instant. "No. We have done this already Tony, it is over. We must move forward now, without looking back." Ziva met his gaze, her eyes steadily boring into his. "I know that you have my back. This time I will trust you."

He nodded. "Thank you." Tony glanced back towards the door. "I guess I better be going now."

Ziva walked him to the exit. "I will see you tomorrow."

Tony cleared his eyes and swallowed. "Never thought I'd hear those words again." Not quite ready to leave, he stalled. "Hey, want to do a movie night sometime?"

Her smile was small, but genuine. "Yes, that sounds like fun."

He hesitated. "And you'll...let me know about the timing, right?"

"Yes," Ziva replied softly. "Goodnight Tony."

"Night."

The door finally shut behind him and Ziva stood in the center of the small, plain room. The pieces of her life were falling back into place too rapidly, but nothing was sure yet. For the woman who had once thrived off spontaneity, it was disconcerting to realize that she now just wanted predictability. And for once in her life, Ziva David was ready to belong in one place, at one job, and possibly to one person, one day. For now that was more than enough.

_Replies:_

_Sarah (G6) - Mmm...gotcha, changing the story, not the outcome. It does suck. I read a book series with a similar premise and nothing makes it better, there is no happy ending possible. I would rather seen him still single and in hiding and then her finding him and a joyful reunion with nothing to get in the way. Happiness seems rather out of reach on NCIS, but I'm trying to stay hopeful. I'm glad you liked my take on Recoil. I'm glad the explanation helped understand Z. She's always been the best, I would not be surprised to find that was the first time a suspect has gotten the drop on her. Glad you liked Tony, he can be a good man when he wants to be. You're not the only one who liked that line, it's always nice to hear favourites. Thanks for reviewing! :)_


	8. 7x7 Endgame

_A/N: Reference here to T&Z's convo in my version of Designated Target. I also changed the date of a rule, but I hope I will be forgiven for taking artistic license to make Tiva possible :) This starts during the bathroom scene, of course. Where else would T&Z have deep conversations if the building was not equipped with men's bathrooms and elevators? Lol. Thanks!_

Ziva laughed. "Oh come on. He is a field agent, a nomad. I have had enough of that in my life. I came to NCIS to settle down, to make a home for myself. The last thing I need is a Chad Dunham."

The words tumbled out before he could stop them. "What do you need?"

Ziva looked him up and down. "Perhaps something I can find without going very far."

"Well," Tony commented, feeling a little nervous, "we're certainly glad you decided to stick around."

Her eyebrows rose. "We?"

He cleared his throat. "I-I'm..." Tony swallowed. "It would've been awfully lonely here without you." Lifting his hand, he brushed his knuckles down her cheek. "I don't know what I'd do without my partner."

Ziva's smile softened. "Is that all you want?"

Tony rubbed the back of his neck. "I know I don't want to be without you again."

Ziva nodded. "Okay."

He frowned. "What does that mean?"

She shrugged one shoulder. "I am willing to try. Perhaps we can have dinner and...talk. It has been too long since we have been honest."

Tony regarded her carefully. "I don't think we've ever been honest Ziva."

"So maybe it is finally time for that as well."

She started to walk past him, but Tony caught her arm. "Ziva..."

She put her hand on his face and leaned up to press her lips gently to his cheek. "Slow Tony. Now come, Gibbs will be looking for us." At the mention of their boss her eyebrows drew together and a slight hesitation entered her gaze. "Rule 12?"

Tony shook his head. "Made null and void by Rule 51. Even Gibbs is wrong sometimes."

Ziva accepted that without a pause and as they left the bathroom, he decided her joy, as well as his own, was worth the headslap he'd get when Gibbs finally figured out they'd crossed a line.

**NCIS**

Later, when McGee escorted his new girlfriend out of the building, Ziva leaned back in her chair and glanced across the bullpen at him. "They seem good together, like it was meant to be."

Tony gave her a significant look. "If you believe in that kind of thing." He hadn't before, but after their talk earlier he was ready to put his faith in a whole host of things that had previously seemed impossible. Like permanence, happiness, fulfillment, and maybe even a life that gave a taste of happily ever after.

The little smile on his face told her all she needed to know. Taking a moment to savour the change in their yet-to-be-defined relationship, Ziva went back to work, thinking today may have started teaching her to believe again. Right now it seemed that anything was possible, if only she was brave enough to go after it. Dinner and honesty may have been four years in the making, but Ziva had the distinct impression that they, and him, would be well worth the wait.


	9. 7x13 Jetlag

_A/N: A continuation from the 'Reunion' chapter, this is Part 2._

Ziva stared at the man behind the desk. "Qu'est-ce que tu veux dire il ya une seule chambre?" _What do you mean there is only one room?_

Beside her, Tony recognized the tone but not the words. "Easy Zi," he murmured. "We can't have you getting arrested for murder in a foreign country."

She huffed. "They could not prove anything," Ziva said in a low tone, holding out her hand for the card key and glaring at the desk clerk. "Fine. We will take it."

Her sudden shift to English confused the man but he still gave her the card. "Bonne nuit Madame, Monsieur."

Ziva started to spin around. "Madame?" But Tony took her arm and steered her towards the elevator. Causing a scene would not jive with his plans of spending a relaxing evening with his partner. She crossed her arms and began muttering in some unknown language while Tony leaned back against the wall and thought about the last four months.

Her stay at the Navy Lodge had lasted much longer than expected, and it was over a month before Ziva was in a position to look for a new place. She'd accepted his offer to help her look and Tony followed her around the city for three weeks before gaining the courage to make a suggestion.

"Hey Zi," he got her attention during a lull in activity one afternoon at work. She looked up and smiled a little at the nickname that had been used with increasing frequency in the weeks she'd been back. Tony cleared his throat. "Uh, I don't want this to sound pushy-" he glanced around to make sure no one was listening who shouldn't hear, "y'know, because of that time thing you suggested," Ziva visibly tensed, but he had to get it out, "but there's a couple vacancies in my building. I mean," Tony backpedaled quickly when she stopped typing and stared at him, "not that there's any pressure or that you have to. Just that, it's close to work and the Middle Eastern restaurant you like is just down the street, and -"

Ziva held up one hand to stem his rambling. She hesitated before speaking. "It is alright Tony. You are sweet to think of me. I will...consider that option. Could you get me the information?"

He rummaged around in his backpack and walked over to drop two pieces of paper on her desk. Tony shrugged. "You never know when this stuff is going to come in handy."

Ziva shook her head and looked at the details. Her eyes widened at the price. "Are you sure this is right?"

Tony slid his hands in his pockets and gave her a half-grin. "I know a guy. And the landlord seems to think having two federal agents living in the building would be good for him." He sighed. "Just take your time and...think about it, okay?"

She nodded. "Thank you Tony, I will."

And she did. Tony was kept in suspense for three days before Ziva reported that she'd talked to the building manager and signed a six month lease for an apartment two floors below his and one over. Within a week they were practically neighbours and started carpooling to work to save on gas. Tony helped her unpack what little there was and two days after moving in, the team threw her a house-warming/birthday party celebration. That was two months ago and they'd grown so much closer since then. These days Ziva spent more time at his place than hers, but she was still keeping a wall between them. A wall he was hoping to start breaking down during this time away.

The elevator stopped at their floor and Ziva got out with her partner right behind her. She found the correct room and looked up at him. "I just assumed McGee would book us separate rooms."

"Maybe it wasn't in the budget," Tony joked, but the apprehension in her face sobered him up. "Look, we'll treat this just like a movie night. You get the bed and I'll take the couch."

Ziva slid the plastic key into the slot, turning the handle when the light blinked green. "Since when do I let you practice cavalry on me?"

He chuckled. "Chivalry. And there is a first time for everything Ziva."

Her eyes shadowed and she stepped inside. The room was good sized - a couch and large screen TV on the left side, a king sized bed and bathroom to the right, and straight ahead, even a small balcony. Tony dropped his bags and flopped onto the couch, picking up the remote. He flicked through channels while Ziva went to the bathroom and changed. When he heard the door open, he sighed. "Everything is in French. That's so unfair!"

"We are in France Tony, what did you expect?"

Tony turned around to answer but stopped when he saw what she was wearing - a tank top and shorts. "Uh...hi."

Ziva moved to sit beside him and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. He wished she wouldn't straighten it so much. "I think we have had enough time. But there are some things you should know before you jump in face first."

He resisted the urge to correct her and switched off the TV so he could focus. "Okay."

"My experience in the camp was not pleasant Tony, and although my body bears few marks to speak of it, many of the scars are still in my mind." She sighed. "You should be prepared for tonight. I have nightmares about Somalia so intense I do not know where I am. I scream, sometimes so loudly that I scare myself. And I am very, very on edge, so if you were to touch me, I would likely harm you before I realized you were not a threat."

Tony dragged a hand down his face. "Wow, okay, warning noted." He frowned. "You've slept at my place a couple times since you moved, why have I never heard anything?"

"The nightmares keep to no schedule," Ziva explained. "I can go days or weeks without them, and then struggle every night for a week, or dream only every few nights. So far I have been lucky, but you have noticed I am always gone before you wake up. Sometimes I leave in the middle of the night, if necessary."

He stroked his fingers over her hand. "Why do you try to do everything by yourself?"

Ziva shrugged. "I do not know any other way to be. But I am letting you in now Tony."

"I'll take it," he assured her. "Okay, now what?"

"Now we get ready for bed and see how this works."

Tony decided to sleep in his boxers and a t-shirt, not wanting to make Ziva uncomfortable. They brushed their teeth and slowly re-entered the room together. "So," he raised his eyebrows, "what side is yours?"

Her face was expressionless as she pulled back the covers. "The left."

"Good to know." Tony moved to the other side and joined her, but as soon as he was in bed, Ziva jumped out and stood a few feet away, running trembling fingers through her hair. He stared at her. "Ziva?"

Ziva stayed frozen where she was and wouldn't look at him. "I will...I will take the couch." She reached for her pillow but he was at her side in moments.

"Hey, hold on a second. What's all this about?" She was avoiding his eyes, so he tipped her chin up. "Talk to me ninja." When she looked at him, Tony saw pain so deep and raw he just wanted to hold her until it went away. He swallowed. "What did they do to you Ziva?"

She yanked her chin out of his grasp and tried to step back, but he caught her arm. With gritted teeth Ziva forced the words out. "Do not make me hurt you Tony."

He let go instantly and all of a sudden he got it. Why she wouldn't let anybody near her, why she used to flinch whenever he touched her, why it had taken weeks before she would sit close to him on the couch. Tony's mouth went dry and he had the pressing urge to punch a hole in the nearest wall, but that would not make Ziva trust him any more. "Oh gosh Zi," he managed, "I'm sorry."

Ziva wrapped her arms around herself. "I do not want your pity."

Tony sighed and rubbed his face. "Look, I won't touch you. I won't even sleep close. Just please, share the bed with me tonight, no strings attached."

She looked around the room before nodding slowly and climbing back into bed. Tony waited until she was settled and then went to his side again, not making any sudden moves. Ziva was so tense she looked about to snap at any moment, but she slid down against the pillows and turned her back to him. Tony got comfortable and glanced over at her. "Buona notte."

Ziva let out a breath. "Laila tov."

He spent more time watching his partner that night than actually sleeping. It took a long time for Ziva to relax and finally she kicked him lightly. "I can feel you staring. Stop."

He chuckled and closed his eyes. "Can't prove it."

"Idiot," she muttered, but he heard the smile in her voice.

They forgot to close the curtains, so dawn woke Tony and he looked down to find Ziva much closer than he expected. So close, in fact, that she was lying on his chest. Tony knew he was a cuddler, so the arm around Ziva's waist didn't really surprise him, but the way he held her, like he had a claim on her, did.

He spent a blissful half hour enjoying the peace on Ziva's face before she started to stir. Tony removed his arm from her and feigned sleep, sensing her immediate anxiety when she woke in that position and feeling her hesitation as she decided what to do. To his disappointment she moved slowly away and he heard her rustling around in her bag. Minutes later the bathroom door closed and then Ziva came out, scribbled a note and left, for a run, he assumed. Once the lock clicked, Tony reached for the piece of hotel stationery on her pillow.

_Went for a run. Meet me at Café de Flore for a nibble before we leave ~ Z_

Tony sighed and leaned back. She wasn't giving him much yet, but it was more than before. Groaning, he got up and headed for the shower. There was plenty of time for sightseeing and souvenir picture taking before he caught up with his partner. He only hoped someday they could visit Paris again, and play tourists together. Someday... Tony smiled. After last night it suddenly seemed so much closer.

_Replies:_

_Sarah (G7) - The author is Deborah Raney and the books are After the Rains and Beneath a Southern Sky. But I didn't like them because there was no way for it to be a happy ending. Thanks :) I just didn't like the way that scene ended because I thought there should've been more to it after that moment they shared. I agree, I think the job doesn't mean nearly as much to him as Z does. It's true, Z did seem to change slowly and subtly after her rescue. I can totally understand needing the security after what she went through. Thanks for reviewing Sarah!_


	10. 8x3 Short Fuse

Tony leaned in behind Ziva and stared through the observation window. "I don't buy it."

Ziva was focused on the interrogation. "What?"

Tony smirked. "Them. Her, with him?" The disbelief was clear in his voice and Ziva chuckled. "I mean, she's young, hot, Marine bomb tech. He's an old suit."

Ziva played with her earring. "Well, I find certain older men...attractive."

Tony held his breath for a beat. If she was offering a stepping stone across the line they'd spent years flirting with, then he had to make an effort too. His voice lowered and the dark room suddenly became an intimate setting for the two of them. "Oh yeah?" He called her on it. "For example?"

Ziva's heart thudded in her chest and for once she didn't let his challenge go unmet. Turning so they were face to face, Ziva stood up straight and pressed her lips to the corner of his mouth. "If you have to ask," she whispered against his skin, "then I do not know how you call yourself an investigator."

Tony seemed frozen, but swallowed and managed to stammer, "Well I...didn't want to assume."

Ziva lifted one eyebrow. "Assume Tony. For once listen to the one voice that is not telling you what a bad idea this is, that I am your partner, that we should not-"

He cut off her speech when his lips pressed against hers, almost tentatively, testing the waters. Ziva's hand slid up his neck and Tony's arms came around her waist as she kissed him back, taking her time, memorizing the feel of his firm mouth on hers. The turning of the handle gave them about half a second's notice that an interruption was coming and Ziva spun around to face the glass while Tony tried to compose himself.

Gibbs stuck his hand in. "Check her movements over the last two weeks, I want to know where she's been." The chorus of 'Yes Boss/Gibbs' came slower than usual and he narrowed his eyes at them. But thankfully the darkness hid the slight colour on Ziva's cheeks and Tony's overt attempts not to physically touch his partner. The older man left and Tony and Ziva exchanged covert glances. Had that moment really just happened?

As if to answer his unspoken question and clear his confusion, Ziva leant up and her breath fanned over his earlobe, making him shiver. "I think you owe me dinner." Then her lips brushed over his and she preceded him out the door, leaving Tony to hope that he was not dreaming. This was one he never wanted to wake up from.

_Replies:_

_Sarah (G8) - Thanks :) lol...I'm glad you think so, because I tend to take artistic license whenever I can't make things fit into my world :P I know, they're so random, but it would be boring if they always had the important conversations where other people could hear them. I'm glad you liked my take. Oh, that's right, I kind of forgot it was him following Z this time, good point! Hmm...the writers do seem to change their mind about character decisions whenever it's convenient. I'm glad Ray is gone because he was all wrong for Z to have in her life. Sometimes, I think Tiva really has to start simple. Other times, I like to complicate the heck out of it :) Thanks for reading/reviewing!_

_Sarah (G9) - Always glad to hear you're still en joying things. Yeah, I think things after Somalia took a whole lot longer than what we got to see. Between waiting to be reinstated at NCIS and resigning from Mossad, for awhile I don't think Z had much, if any, income at all. lol...glad you liked Tony's line, I think they're so cute. Someone else pointed out that Z's hair has been less straight this season. Personally I like it just wavy, it was almost too curly in last week's episode. I love her hair just falling into natural, sun highlighted waves. She really is gorgeous :) T&Z know each other so well it's almost scary. I'm glad too that Z trusted T enough to relax even with him so close. Thanks for reviewing! :)_


	11. 8x10 False Witness

Ziva returned from picking up the witness with Gibbs looking troubled. Tony frowned, and at the first available opportunity took her arm and led her to the alcove by the stairs. "What's on your mind ninja?"

Her gaze lowered to the carpet as she debated on sharing how the witness's observation has affected her. "He said I have the eyes of a killer." Ziva looked up. "Do I still Tony? Is that what you see?"

Tony held her chin in his hand and stared deeply into the chocolate brown irises that so often entranced him. He studied the serious orbs and finally shook his head. "Nope. Wanna know what I see?"

Her expression grew skeptical. "What?"

Tony smiled. "I see Ziva David, Israeli-American citizen, five foot seven, one hundred twenty pounds in her heaviest winter coat, who can still take down armed felons like they were little girls." Ziva rolled her eyes but he continued. "I see a good investigator, a loyal friend, a valued teammate and of course, my most favourite probette/partner." Tony shook his head. "Don't let anyone tell you any different Ziva. Don't you know by now how precious you are to us?" Her eyes widened and he kissed her forehead. "No one could ever take your place."

Ziva put her hand over his. "DiNozzos have a way with words I see," she murmured, a bit overwhelmed by his unexpected statement.

"Well," he quirked that teasing half-grin she'd never admit she loved. "I'm trying to put them to better use now."

A glimmer of a smile appeared on her lips. "So far, not bad."

His thumb brushed her cheek. "Hang in there kid, you'll make it yet." There was a case to get back to and they'd stolen enough time away from it.

Ziva nodded slowly, strangely reluctant to leave the moment. Surprising herself, she reached out and touched his arm. Tony turned back to her with a question in his expression. "Thank you."

Tony smiled. "For you Ziva, anything-uh, anytime." She followed him back to the bullpen, warmth and contentment spreading through her. Even if he hadn't meant to say it, Ziva had no doubt that Tony would do whatever she needed. Her partner always came through.

**NCIS**

She was able to return the favour a day later when Tony finally shared what was bothering him as they waited in Observation. He sighed. "Maybe I'm having a mid-life crazy."

Ziva rolled her eyes and turned Tony towards her. "You are not crazy. You are just...growing up. And some lessons are more painful as we grow older, when the sakes are higher. But you need to find...balance. And yes, yes, yes, yes, yes you need to treat people more respectfully, especially when it comes to matters...of the heart. But you need to be who you are."

Tony looked at her like he really wanted to know her answer. "Who am I?"

Ziva let out a breath. "You are Tony DiNozzo, the class clown. And that is why we love you." She ended with a smile and even met his eyes, leaving Tony to wonder if 'we' was really code for 'I' and how he felt about that. But then Gibbs entered Interrogation and the moment was over. To test his theory, Tony slid his arm around Ziva's waist and left it there the whole time they were listening. It made him want to grin when he noticed that Ziva never pushed him away.


	12. 8x23 Swan Song

_A/N: Another Part 1 of 2. Next chapter will wrap up this immediate storyline and the S8 Glimpses. Then just S9 to go, we're in the home stretch! Thanks for everything guys! :) ~Aliyah_

Tony needed to go after his partner and was relieved when Gibbs sent him away with a look and a nod. Of all of them he hadn't expected Ziva to be the first to break. He got into the elevator and just stood there while Ziva struggled not to cry. "There is always another monster," she said finally.

"Yup," Tony agreed, unable to form a more articulate response while he studied the floor numbers that lit up as the car rose.

"I mean, we pursue them, but we just keep making targets of ourselves," Ziva explained.

He faced her and touched her arm gently. Even warriors needed some good old fashioned human contact when they were hurting. "Better us than someone who didn't sign up for it." At least they knew what they were getting into. The victims they tried to get justice for often did not.

Ziva met his eyes for the first time. "I do not think I can take any more."

Tony's heart jumped into his throat and he shook his head minutely. Ziva couldn't leave him, not now, not after all they'd been through. He reached out and flicked the emergency stop switch, then moved his hand to her face. "Hey, we're gonna get him, okay?" Tony ran his knuckles down her cheek and brushed back the strands of hair that had escaped from her bun.

Ziva leaned in for a hug and Tony gladly wrapped his arms around her, running one hand soothingly up and down her back. The moment was over far too soon, but when Ziva pulled back he could see her eyes flicker to his mouth for the briefest of seconds. Without even thinking, Tony kissed her softly, startled into awareness of his actions when her lips moved with his.

Then Ziva stepped away and shook her head. Tony wondered if he should apologize. But she merely looked up at him with the same sad expression and lifted her fingers to trail down his cheek. "Not while you are still seeing her."

Tony was ashamed to realize that EJ hadn't even crossed his mind when he kissed his partner. He swallowed. "CI-Ray?"

"Still over," Ziva answered softly. "He lied to me and he used me. Once this case is finished, I do not want to see him again."

He tucked her back against his chest. "I'm sorry Ziva, I know what he meant to you."

She wiped her eyes, undone by the sincerity in his voice. "Ray was just a dream. They do not often come true."

"You'll get another chance," Tony assure her.

Ziva was glad not to be looking at him. "Will I?"

His grip on her tightened. "Yes," Tony whispered into her hair. He took a breath. "Do you want this?" He'd never asked a more serious question, and Tony was terrified that her answer might not be the one he so desperately wanted.

But his fears were unfounded when she nodded against his shirt. "Yes." After six years of dancing around each other, they deserved the opportunity to create something real.

Tony and Ziva stayed in the elevator sharing the same space for comfort until Ziva stood back and flipped the switch on. They had a job to do. The future could wait for a few more days.

_Replies:_

_Sarah (G11) - according to my research, on the show Tony is 10 years older than her and Z is supposed to be 30. In RL, Cote is 33 and Michael is 44. I guess he qualifies as an 'older man' :P Glad you liked the tag, this is one of the simpler ways Tiva could've happened. I do think Z has worked very hard to change the perception people have of her, so it definitely bothers her when the past rears its ugly head. Glad you liked T's response, it very much reflects what Z says about why they love him in the second part. Thanks for reviewing! :)_


	13. 8x24 Pyramid

When the team entered Ray's hotel room to find Ziva gone and blood on the floor, Tony wanted to throw up. Not again, he couldn't lose her again. He was more irritable than usual when McGee told him again that the security cameras were down. "How could she just walk out of here and nobody notices?"

EJ walked up beside him and tried to calm him down. "Tony."

The tone of her voice bothered him and he glanced to the side. "Sorry."

"We're all worried about Ziva," she assured him.

"I know," he replied, zipping up the camera bag with more force than necessary. "It's just different for some of us."

Her expression didn't understand but now wasn't the time or the place to explain. Then Cobb walked in with Ziva's blood on his hands and as four guns were leveled at his head, the senior field agent realized that Ziva really could be gone, he really could've missed the chance to have her in his life.

At the earliest opportunity when they returned to headquarters, Tony pulled EJ aside. "I'm sorry, this isn't going to work."

She shook her head. "What?"

Tony sighed. "Us."

EJ raised an eyebrow. "Because of Ziva? I thought she was just your partner."

He swallowed. "Ziva's always been more than just my partner. I'm sorry."

EJ shrugged and crossed her arms. After the events of the last few days, a hiccup in her personal life was the last thing she was worried about. "Probably just as well. I'm going back to Rota when this is over." She flipped some hair over her shoulder. "It's been fun Tony."

Tony felt the barest amount of regret over the end of another relationship, but he and EJ really only ever had a fling. And if...when they found Ziva, Tony knew he was never letting go of her again.

**NCIS**

They eased into the barn, guns sighted and ready for battle if there was one to be had. After the pigeons cleared, the incessant noise of the wind up monkey's clanging symbols and screeching as the first thing Tony noticed. Then Gibbs was kneeling beside Ziva and the senior agent forgot about everything else but the blood on his partner's shirt. Once she was standing and had explained about being a distraction, Ray made a move to get closer to her but Tony stepped in his way, jaw clenched.

"Stay away from my partner," he growled dangerously. "She's here because you made her a target." Then he turned and put his arm around Ziva's waist, nodding as if Gibbs had spoken. "Hospital, right. On it Boss."

Ray opened his mouth to argue but Gibbs got in his face. "Agent Cruz, with me."

Ziva glanced over her shoulder at him with a forsaken expression and leaned into Tony, letting him support her weight. The drive to the hospital was quiet and quick and once there, a flash of their badges got her in to see a doctor with remarkable speed. After a brief examination, Dr. Preston cleaned the wound and offered Ziva some freezing before he began stitching the cut. Like the stubborn ninja she was, Ziva refused, but squeezed Tony's hand tightly during the procedure. That she was allowing him to see weakness in her a second time in twenty-four hours told him something significant had changed. The doctor finished quickly, taped a thin piece of gauze over the sutures, and wrote Ziva a prescriptions for painkillers.

"You have a mild concussion Agent David, someone will have to stay with you tonight and wake you every couple hours to make sure it hasn't gotten worse."

"I will," Tony volunteered and Ziva's eyebrows rose but she didn't argue.

Minutes later they were in the car and headed to Ziva's apartment so she could get changed out of her soiled outfit. Tony waited in the livingroom and his gaze wandered over the framed pictures decorating her shelves and bookcases. Many were of them, he noted, and even in team shots the partners managed to be side by side. Her soft footsteps on the carpet brought him back to the moment and he smiled. Ziva wore a dark purple zip up and charcoal coloured pants. With her hair down and curly in the way he still loved, and rearranged over the stitches, it was impossible to tell she'd been hurt. But he saw the signs in her posture and expression and reached for her hand.

They went back to the car and were halfway to NCIS before Tony noticed he hadn't let go of her hand. Ziva had said nothing either, enjoying the way his thumb gently caressed her skin every so often. Finally he looked over at her. "I ended things with EJ. Got a little intense while you were missing, she didn't understand." His own words to Kort, _I have to find Ziva_, still echoed in Tony's head and made him hold her hand a little tighter.

A small smile drifted over Ziva's lips at his announcement. "So..."

He repeated her question. "So now what?" Tony sighed. "Will you be my girlfriend Ziva? I don't want to waste any more time."

She considered his request carefully. "No," Ziva said thoughtful and Tony's heart sank until she finished, "I will be your partner, and only we will know it means in more than one way."

His grin was cautious. "Then we're...together?"

Ziva nodded slowly. "Yes Tony. And I will hold your heart as carefully as you have watched my back for these six years."

Tony cleared his throat. "Me too." Then he laughed. "Wow, I never thought it would feel this good."

She didn't comment, but settled back in the seat, contentment spreading through her heart for the first time in months.

All too soon they were back at headquarters and facing a return to work mode. But before they went upstairs, Tony pulled her aside to a quiet corner and cupped her face in his hands, kissing her gently. Ziva practically melted under his touch and pressed in close to him, her hands resting at his hips. Tony broke away to let her breathe and closed his eyes. "This is real, right?"

Ziva answered by leaning up to brush her lips over his. "Yes. But now we must do our jobs."

He looked her over. "Are you okay?"

She opened her mouth to say 'fine', but his eyes sought hers to determine honesty and Ziva shrugged. "I will be."

Tony swallowed. "Did he..." He didn't know how to finish that sentence, couldn't actually say the word out loud.

Ziva understood his fear, especially given what he'd guessed about Somalia, and shook her head, sliding her hand up his chest to rest over his heart. "He did not touch me Tony."

He felt relief at her answer and pulled her close again. "Your blood was on his hands Zi...I really thought I'd lost you this time."

Ziva could imagine what that had done to her partner and her palm found his face. "I am here Tony, I am okay. We are okay." He breathed in his scent and moved away, wishing she could just stay in his arms. "Hold me tonight. Right now we have a case to finish."

Tony nodded bravely. "I'll look forward to that."

Ziva smiled. "Me too."

**NCIS**

Time passed quickly and then EJ, Palmer and Kort were taken and it became a race to find them. Tony didn't have to worry about keeping Ziva awake because they worked through the night and it was early the next morning when the killer was finally dealt with. Later Ray sat in the breakroom and slid a red wooden box across the table. Ziva looked at him and cracked it open, then raised an eyebrow.

"Consider it a promise." He put his hands on hers. "We have lots to talk about when I return."

Ziva stared at him with regret and pulled her hands away, shutting the box. "No Ray, I am sorry. I have no time and no room in my life for empty promises. You have lied to me too many times. This relationship is over."

She stood and Ray followed her, stunned by a reaction so far from what he expected, and tried to argue her position. "Think of what you're throwing away."

Ziva turned and smiled slightly. "No, I will think about what I am gaining instead." Then she returned to the bullpen and left him standing there staring after a gift he'd willfully thrown away.

**NCIS**

When they went out for lunch following all the goodbyes, Tony stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and led her to a bench, still holding her hand. "Am I allowed to ask?"

Her eyes shadowed briefly. "He gave me an empty ring box, called it a promise." Ziva sighed. "I am tired of having them broken."

Tony shook his head, frowning at the stupidity of a man who dared let this woman go, even if Ray's mistakes became Tony's salvation. "That's low. He doesn't deserve you Ziva." He kissed her fingertips. "I don't either, but I promise you won't regret saying yes."

Ziva regarded him seriously. "I did not think I would."

He slid his hand along her cheek and tilted his head to capture her lips. "I love you Ziva,"Tony whispered when they parted. "My box would never be empty."

Ziva's eyes widened, shocked that he could just say those words so easily. "What?"

Tony chuckled. "There's no rush Zi, I just wanted you to know. Come on," he helped her to her feet, "let's get something to eat."

Ziva's head was still spinning but Tony's good mood was catching, so she let him tug her away. This was something she'd never experienced before, those words said without any strings attached, just because he felt them. Ziva wondered what it changed, to know Tony was telling the truth.

**NCIS**

The partners went home to Ziva's apartment when Gibbs let them off early and Vance gave them a four day weekend in return for all their hard work and long hours spent on the case. For awhile they stood looking at each other and then Ziva broke eye contact and sat on the couch with legs crossed. Tony joined her and leaned back. "Seven hours Ziva, what happened?"

She rubbed her forehead, then dipped her fingers into her hair to gently trace the stitches. It would be almost a week before they came out, and longer than that before she'd be able to comfortably run a brush through the dark waves. But what a close reminder of how lucky she was to still be alive. It was only one of three scars on her head, each telling a story of cheating death one more time.

"I went to confront Ray and when the door opened I just walked in. I was not looking for danger, so I did not expect it. Cobb hit me from behind and I was not conscious long enough to fight back." Ziva gazed out the window. "I do not know how long I was out, I think he drugged me to move me from the hotel to the farm. The first thing I heard was that monkey. It nearly drove me mad except that I fell asleep again. I had not been awake very long when Gibbs found me."

Tony sighed. "Did it remind you of the last time?" That was his fear, because those memories were too dark to dredge up again.

She shook her head. "Not really. I was alone, focused on the pain in my head and trying to get free. But the ropes were bound very tightly around my wrists and my fingers would not cooperate. Aside from the head wound, I was not hurt in any way, and I knew you would come. There was room for hope. I am alright Tony."

He rolled his eyes. "You've barely slept in two days and Ray messed with your heart. That's not exactly the definition of 'okay'."

Ziva pulled her knees up. "You have not slept either. And whatever damage Ray's betrayal did, you are working to repair. I trust you Tony."

Tony cleared his throat, unfamiliar with handling praise. "So, movie?"

She made a face and fingered her hair. "Actually, I really need to sleep."

He bit his lip. "Alone?"

Ziva shrugged. "I would not refuse company tonight. It is not always good to be alone."

Tony followed her down the hall and stripped to his t-shirt and boxers and Ziva went very modest with silky pj pants and an old grey shirt. His eyebrows rose at the insignia. "OSU, huh?"

She looked away. "I must have forgotten to give it back."

He eyed her lazily. "I don't know, I kinda like the way it looks on you."

Ziva got into bed and Tony joined her, scooting close until they were touching. She lifted her hand to his face. "Are you alright?"

Tony coughed. "Nothing a little holding won't fix."

She doubted that, but let him spoon her and lay still, waiting. It wasn't long before he trembled and tucked his head into her neck. "Don't do that to me again Ziva. I can't lose you anymore, I just can't."

Ziva turned back to face him, letting Tony hold her as hard as he wanted. "Next time you will have my back, yes?"

Tony stared into her eyes. "I don't want there to be a next time," he ground out.

Her eyes were serious. "I cannot promise anything Tony, but I will not willingly leave you."

He groaned and kissed her, his firm lips demanding a response. Ziva gave her partner what he needed and in their shared caress found her own comfort. They parted with a smile, another quick peck, and the promise that tonight would not be the only time they would do this. In her bed, in the warmth of each other's arms, after a long and life changing couple of days, Tony DiNozzo and Ziva David finally slept. And for the first time in a long time, it was peaceful.

_Replies:_

_Sarah (G12) - I too was surprised that Z was so broken, but there's only so many hits a person can take before enough is enough. And Tony should feel honoured to be trusted with her tears. I'm glad you liked the comfort stuff. I don't like people kissing when they're in other relationships either, but I like how Z stood up for that and Tony's guilt, I think, shows that he hadn't intended on doing anything wrong/hurting anyone. But I could be reading way too much into that. I'm glad you think the dream lined summed up Ray's reason for being in the show. Z craves permanence and was afraid of that being her only chance. Personally I think Ray got far too many chances with her. I'm glad he turned out to be a bad guy, at least she's safe from him. Thanks for reviewing Sarah :)_

_GAVT (G12) - Thanks, glad you're enjoying them :) Umm...there's a handful of Glimpses left, I'll probably start posting Moments In Time, the story you're interested in, when this one is wrapped up. I try to only have one project going at a time. Thanks for reviewing! :)_


	14. 8x16 Kill Screen

_A/N: Hello people! So sorry for the unexpected absence (yikes! 10 days since I posted, really? Haha...oops?), it's been a busy couple of weeks and I'm still trying to catch up with myself. Hope you guys like this one, originally hadn't written this as a Glimpse, but now I think it fits. Also, until I get some free time (so far have worked 14 days straight with only a few hours off here and there) and am able to type up the notebooks full of postable material I've been working on, updates will likely only be once a week. Also, this is where things start getting a little out of order, but hey, I write 'em as the inspiration hits :) At this time there are 7 Glimpses left, tho a few of them are really short. I'm also planning to put up a Snapshot before the end of October, one in November (that one was a surprise), and the last one in the first couple weeks of December. Thanks for everything guys, it's nice to have readers who stick around :)_

Being trapped made Ziva more deadly than usual. For the first twenty minutes she frantically sought a way out, kicking and throwing herself at walls until Tony feared she'd seriously harm herself in the escape attempt. After that she paced - up and down, back and forth, occasionally muttering to herself in a language he didn't always recognize. The closer they got to an hour, the more agitated she got and finally Tony put himself in her path, risking potential injury to put his hands on her arms.

She jerked away with a panicked cry and Tony wondered if she'd forgotten he was there. "Easy Ziva, it's just me," he murmured, following her rapid breathing to find her again in the thick darkness. "You know my voice, it's okay." His words kept up a soothing cadence as one might use on a child or an injured animal. "Easy." Finally he reached her and Ziva froze at his touch. He swallowed, wondering where her mind she was lost to. "Can you hear me? Come on ninja, snap out of it."

Her breath hitched and her hand reached out to land on his chest. "Tony?"

Tony sighed in relief. "Hey partner, I thought I lost you for a minute there."

Ziva's words trembled. "I was all alone and it was so dark."

"Hey," he cupped her cheek, wishing he could see her eyes. "I'm here, okay? We're in this together. Now how about we sit down, huh?"

She nodded and Tony guided her to the nearest wall and brought her down to sit between his knees. The intimate position was less of concern than keeping Ziva in the present with him. She didn't seem to care either, leaning into his chest and relaxing slightly when he wrapped his arms around her. He spoke, his breath tickling her neck, and Ziva squirmed. "Favourite colour?"

Her brow furrowed. "Excuse me?"

Tony shrugged. "We're stuck in here, gotta do something. Twenty questions, favourites style. So, favourite colour?"

Ziva sighed. "Green."

"Favourite perfume?"

She raised an eyebrow. "Inside info DiNozzo?"

Tony chuckled. "It never hurts. Tell me."

Ziva didn't have to think very long. "One my brother brought home from Canada when I was a girl - Butterfly. I have never seen it since."

"Huh." He tucked that away for a rainy day. "Favourite ninja turtle?"

Ziva twisted to face him. "What?"

His expression, if she had been able to see it, was filled with disbelief. "You don't know who the ninja turtles are?"

She elbowed him. "Israeli, remember?"

Tony rolled his eyes. "Fine. But we'll have to remedy that next time we have a free Saturday afternoon. Okay, next - favourite flower?"

Ziva smiled faintly. "There is a small blue flower that blooms at the end of summer called Widow's Tears. But Spanish Flag is also nice, and Flowering Rush." She shrugged. "I have a hard time picking just one."

Tony rubbed his thumb over her arm. "I'll keep that in mind. What about favourite book?"

They continued the game until he couldn't think of anything else to ask and then Ziva turned each question back on him before they lapsed into silence. It was ages before Tony squeezed her elbow gently. "Remember our first undercover assignment? I keep coming back to something you said. Ziva, is ten minutes all the time a guy ever spent on you?"

She replayed the conversation from five years ago and tensed. "You remember some unexpected things."

He sighed into her hair. "You don't have to tell me."

Ziva shrugged. "It is more realistic than an hour, yes?"

Tony's eyebrows rose. "For the whole experience? No way. It's not just about the sex Ziva, it's how you get there. Personally, I like to take my time." He rubbed his fingers over her jacket. "You're worth a lot more than ten minutes."

She snorted. "How would you know? I have never slept with you."

Tony stared at her with an intensity she could feel. "I know."

Ziva shifted uneasily. "Sex has always been more of a weapon in my line of work, a cleverly used tool to get what I needed to accomplish missions. Sex with partners was pure stress relief but had to happen without losing awareness of our surroundings. We could just as easily be killed as enjoy a brief moment of release."

His brow furrowed. "What about for fun? For comfort?" He paused. "For love?"

She waved her hand dismissively. "There has never been time for love. I was not allowed to need comfort. For fun...after awhile one night stands became unsatisfying, empty. Just once I would like to know what it is like to stay the night."

Her admission caught Tony by surprise. The darkness had to be affecting her walls, they were never this honest. He changed positions a little to ease the strain on his knee and slid his legs straight out. Ziva copied him and Tony started rubbing her shoulders. Her first reaction was to get even more tense, but there was nothing inappropriate in the way he touched her and Ziva had to acknowledge that it felt pretty good.

"I know what you mean," Tony told her quietly. "I still keep up the bragging and boasting, just for show. But it's been a long time since I took someone home. You're right, it gets old. After awhile I wanted it to mean more than just a warm body for the night. That's never really a cure for loneliness."

Ziva traced a pattern on her jeans and was quiet for several moments. "Are you lonely Tony?"

He nodded slowly and sighed. "Yeah. Work and the team are great, and I love my movies, but sometimes I think it would be nice to look over and see someone else in my apartment, even if she wasn't doing the same thing. Someone to eat a meal with, fall asleep with, take out on the town, go for a walk with, and share my life with, I guess."

"That paints a very sweet picture," Ziva said wistfully, "but it is hard to hope and always be disappointed."

Tony nodded. "We'll figure it out, one of these days."

Ziva's fingers wandered over his resting on her hips. "I am glad you are here Tony."

He grinned and brushed a kiss over her hair. "Me too."

Another half hour passed before the firemen got them out and what Tony and Ziva remembered most about those three hours was not being trapped, but for once in their lives finally not being alone.

_Replies:_

_Cheryl (G12) - I knew Z was 1982, I just Googled to find Tony's - those dates didn't always match so I'm not positive about his birthday. haha...yeah, right? I love imagining what happens past what the writers let us see. I appreciated Z not letting T cheat. EJ clearly wasn't that important to him. Thanks for reviewing! :)_

_Sarah (G13) - I never liked Ray, so I didn't really care how they got rid of them but it sucks that Z got hurt/betrayed again. It annoyed me that Z couldn't make up her mind about the proposal. First it was no for sure, then I'll think about it, then maybe I'll say yes...the Z I know is more decisive than that. Thanks :) Glad you liked it. That's a good point, EJ and Tony played it really casual, there was no real emotional attachment. I liked T&Z scenes alone as well. I'm not sure if T&Z are going to keep it a secret or just wait until things calm down or someone notices. Definitely think Z being missing was a huge flashback for Tony, poor guy is a lot more vulnerable than he looks. Thanks for reviewing Sarah! :)_


	15. 9x20 The Missionary Position

_A/N: Sorry it's been so long since I posted guys, RL is eating all my free time. I've got a couple of these left but they still need to be typed up, so I can't make any promises about when I'll post again. But I promise I won't abandon any of my stories. Thanks for everything guys, you're all amazing! ~love, Aliyah_

Ziva paused inside the balcony doors when she saw her partner join the chaplain. A little of the anger she felt from Tony telling Gibbs he didn't trust Monique evaporated when she watched him put himself in the line of fire while they talked. Then their words started filtering through.

Chaplain Castro leaned back in her chair. "Ziva and Agent Lisson, they're interesting woman."

Tony rubbed his head and chuckled. "Interesting good or interesting bad?

The chaplain shrugged. "Strong, decisive, deliberate-"

"And alone," Tony interjected. "I supposed that comes with the job."

Chaplain Castro shook her head. "Doesn't have to."

Tony gave a bit of a smile and changed the subject. "So why are you in Cartagena Castro?"

She confessed that the immunization assignment was supposed to be hers and related the story of Chaplain Wade volunteering to take her place so she could stay home with her sick father. Her guilt was obvious when she repeated what she'd told Theresa's brother.

Tony leaned forward. "Listen, you can't put that kind of weight on yourself. Because if you keep piling it on, one day you can't move. Take it from me. I carry a lot. Every day. So cut yourself some slack. Alright?"

At that point Ziva slipped silent as a shadow away form the doors and went for a walk to sort out her thoughts. Later, after the chaplain was in bed, Tony came out of the bathroom to find Ziva sitting on the pull-out mattress, not yet undressed for sleep. She looked up at him with more warmth in her eyes than he'd seen since they left NCIS. "I am sorry for snapping at you earlier, about Monique."

Tony slipped his hands in his pockets, regarding her carefully. "We both know there's something she's not telling us Ziva."

The dark haired woman sighed. "Yes. I feel that I am losing her. We have been friends for a long time. She has never lied to me before."

Tony joined her on the bed. "Maybe you never saw it before. You said she's a good liar."

Ziva's eyes shadowed and she rubbed her hands slowly over her thighs. "I could not help but overhear earlier, when you and Chaplain Castro were talking." He leaned over, propping his elbows on his knees and just waited, knowing by her tone that there was more. She swallowed and tilted her head. "What is it you are carrying every day Tony?"

Tony sighed and thought seriously before answering her. "I see all the ones I couldn't save, all the calls that came too late, all the grief and anger from people left behind who thought if I'd done something different a person they loved would still be alive." He stared out the window at the stars. "It's on my shoulders to do for this team what Gibbs doesn't, to fill in the blanks and be whatever is needed for me to be. And I never really know if any of it makes a difference, or if Gibbs would even notice if I never came back, besides losing his target, the one person who'll take all his crap and not give it back." Dragging a hand down his face, Tony continued. "I carry the pain of being abandoned by the one person who should've cared but only knows I'm alive when he needs something. The weight of underappreciation and lack of respect from everyone. Remorse for the blood on my hands, guilt for my part in sending you to Somalia, and regret for all the chances I've missed."

To say that she was surprised by what came out of her partner's mouth would be an understatement. Ziva swallowed and walked around to sit by his side, one hand on his shoulder. "And how long until you cannot move?"

Tony met her eyes. "I don't know," he admitted. "But it gets harder every day to smile and pretend I don't feel any of it."

They sat in silence for several moments until Ziva spoke again. "I would notice."

His brow furrowed. "Huh?"

"I would notice," she repeated, "if you never came back. You are my partner and I...care."

Tony rested his hand on her knee. "Thanks." But her admission did nothing for the weight crushing his soul and he started to undress, laying down to face the door.

Ziva returned to her side and shed her clothes, leaving only underwear and a tank top. She crawled between the sheets and tucked one hand beneath her head, waiting until Tony's breathing grew deep and even before making a move. Rolling over, she slid slowly close to him and gently draped her arm over his chest, using her other hand to draw fingers soothingly through his hair. In his sleep Tony leaned into her touch and she rested her head on his shoulder. Even if nothing she said helped, Ziva hoped to offer some comfort to her partner. She never expected to fall asleep in that position, or that Tony's presence would be so familiar and soothing that she wouldn't even dream.

When Tony woke up the next morning, he worked out what had happened before he even opened his eyes, and a smile spread across his face. It turned out that having someone care felt pretty good after all, like maybe she could share his burdens just by being there. And who knew? Perhaps this was the chance they'd been waiting for. With their partnership, anything was possible.


	16. 9x13 A Desperate Man

_A/N: *peeks around the corner waving a white flag* I don't suppose you guys will accept a heartfelt apology and a double update to make up for my being AWOL since who knows when? And if I do my absolute bestest to finish Glimpses by Saturday (2 updates a day and 1 for Sat) + a new Snapshot on Sunday? I really am dreadfully sorry, this RL thing is completely messing with my FF commitment. Makes me wonder how I ever got any writing done before. Anyhow, I guess I'll just hope for the best. Hopefully there's still a few people out there who haven't written me off as lost. Thanks for everything guys! ~Aliyah_

Tony focused on fixing her phone so he didn't have to look into her eyes and see the hurt still present from today. "You'll find someone, someday."

Ziva shrugged. "I do not think a husband and children are part of the plan for me right now. And I am fine with that. Perfectly...perfectly content with my life."

Now he did meet her gaze. "Content, but are you happy?"

She raised an eyebrow. "Are you?"

He opened his mouth to reply, but Detective Burris arrived, cutting off what he was about to say. Tony wasn't sure why his heart seemed to hurt when Ziva declared that they weren't a couple, or why he felt the need to add 'very good friends' when she clarified that they were more than just co-workers. But his spirits lifted at her smile as the elevator doors closed.

After the detective left, Tony turned to his partner. "I never answered your question."

Her brow furrowed. "What?"

"Am I happy." Tony took a breath, preparing to be honest with her for once. "I'm trying. But it's hard sometimes, when what I want most is constantly out of my reach."

Ziva was already so close as to be in his personal space, not that they ever acknowledged that such a concept existed between them, but she shifted marginally closer. "What is it you want Tony?"

It took all his willpower not to lift his hand to caress her cheek. "Something that will have to wait, in case we still need time."

Frustrated, Ziva spun away and moved to the other side of the elevator, crossing her arms. "Why can you not just say it Tony? All these years we have flirted with this line. If you have something to say to me, do not beat around the basket!"

Tony swallowed. "You're not ready Ziva." She opened her mouth to protest but he shook his head. "No. You're hurting and you're angry and feeling betrayed and who knows what else. I need to be your friend right now. But...if, at some point you get past today, I want you to know that I'm going to be here, no matter how long that takes."

"Tell me," she begged, needing some sort of validation after a day when so many dreams had crashed and burned and she wasn't sure which way was up anymore, "please."

He shut his eyes and tried to find the strength to resist, but the pain in her gaze undid him and Tony sighed. "You Ziva, I want you. Not just as my partner and best friend, but as that something more we've both been spent the last decade looking for." Ziva stared at him and his heart sank. "Please say something."

She swallowed. "You are sure?"

"I've never been more sure of anything in my life," Tony affirmed.

They'd gravitated towards each other again, and this time Tony's knuckles fell gently down her cheek. Ziva looked up at him near tears and he was reminded of the night Mike Franks died. She'd been vulnerable then too, and he'd been a coward. Tony would never know what would've happened if the elevator doors hadn't opened at that moment, but he could control what happened now. Leaning down, he pressed his lips gently to hers. Unlike their undercover assignment, Ziva let him lead the kiss. She responded out of deep need and much sooner than he would've preferred, Tony found himself pulling back.

He swallowed hard. "I will appreciate you Ziva. I will respect you and know what a gift it is that you let me be in your life." He brushed his lips over her temple. "And I will cherish you, because you are so much more than worth it. But I won't take advantage of you tonight. I want you to heal first and make sure this is what you really want." He cupped her cheek and Ziva leaned into the contact. "Then say yes and I'll make sure you don't regret it."

Ziva slid her arms around his waist. "Thank you Tony."

Tony held her carefully, aware that today she'd come close to breaking. "I would've tried to be happy for you if you married Ray," he whispered against her hair, "but I would've spent the rest of my life regretting not getting a chance with you."

"Do you think we could work?" She wasn't sure about anything anymore.

"We've been partners for seven years Zi, this is just one step closer. I know no one else could put up with me as well as you do."

She nodded. "And I have never let anyone so far past my walls as you. You see through all my masks, everything I try to hide."

Reluctantly Tony released her. "Give yourself some time Ziva, this needs to be more than just a rebound."

Ziva smiled, wondering when it was that he'd gotten so mature and she hadn't noticed. But it seemed possible that she might reap the benefits of that change. "Okay."

He walked her to her car and said goodnight, then left. Tony had no idea what would happen next, but if he got to have Ziva in his life, it would be worth however hard he had to work and however long they had to wait. She was one in a million.


	17. 8x4 Royals and Loyals

Ziva picked up her backpack and turned to her partner. "Tony, I have a question."

He grinned. "Shoot."

"If and when you meet my friend - and I emphasize 'if' - what will you say?"

Tony pretended to think about it, while focusing on the finger she had caught between her teeth while she waited for his answer. "Be careful." At her expression he laughed and got a little more serious. "Handle with care." Then the punch line and a look that backed up his words. "Contents priceless."

Ziva saw the truth in his gaze and smiled before getting in his space to kiss his cheek. "Thank you Tony." She continued to the elevator, then turned around to see him. "Just so you know, he is just my friend, nothing else."

Tony's eyebrows rose. "Yeah?" he asked hopefully, following her. "So the mysterious 'R' wouldn't mind if I took you to dinner?"

She shook her head slowly, the beginnings of a grin tugging at her lips. "His name is Rob and he is happily married to his job." Ziva pressed the down button. "So, where are we going?"

He invaded her space to put his hand on her lower back. "With that smile doll, we'll go anywhere you want." Ziva elbowed him for the name but held the elevator door for him.

"Coming Tony?"

"Are you kidding?" Tony took his place by her side. "I wouldn't miss this for the world." He leaned close and whispered in her ear. "I knew as soon as I saw you Ziva David, that an adventure was going to happen." When her hand slipped into his, Tony was so glad for once, to finally be right.


	18. 8x5 Dead Air

Ziva stared at the temperature rising far too rapidly on the barbeque and out of the corner of her eye saw her partner still directing traffic. The fear was intense as she sprinted towards him, yelling his name. "Tony!" The tackle lacked finesse but all that mattered was keeping him safe.

Out of instinct they covered each other's heads to protect them from the blast. When the boom was over, Ziva raised her face a little and Tony grunted. "You're on top of me again."

Scenes flashed in their memories. An elegant hotel room and two sweaty bodies wrapped in sheets. _"I prefer it on top." _A cold shipping container and a ricocheting bullet. _"I am protecting you!"_ She lifted an eyebrow. "Was that a complaint?"

Tony shook his head, smiling. "This is nice, I missed the old Ziva."

Ziva smirked. "I can tell."

He made a face, his voice still croaky. "Don't flatter yourself, that's just my knee."

She snorted. "You forget I have experience with you Agent DiNozzo. That is definitely not your knee."

He stared into her eyes. "Shut up and kiss me David."

Ziva tapped his face lightly, then covered his lips with her own. Tony's hands tightened on her back. She broke the kiss and smiled. "Do you still miss the old Ziva?"

Tony pushed her braid over her shoulder. "I'll take any Ziva who wants to do that to me," he said breathlessly.

Ziva chuckled and lowered her mouth to his again, lingering long enough for him to respond this time. They were cut off by a stinging headslap delivered simultaneously to both of them. Tony groaned. "You have the worst timing ever Boss."

Gibbs stood above them, glaring menacingly. "Keep it out of the office, or I send you two so far away from each other that even lightspeed won't get you there."

Tony perked up. "Star Wars reference? Nice Boss." Then he cleared his throat. "Right, got it. No office PDA." _Which of course doesn't include elevator PDA or stairwell PDA or bathroom PDA or even copy room PDA_, his mind continued, drawing tantalizing fantasies for Tony to imagine.

The silver haired agent departed and Tony looked back to his partner. "So, how about dinner and a movie?"

Ziva traced his face, in no hurry to move from her current position. "You are not supposed to talk."

His grin took on a wicked quality. "Y'know, that's not such a bad thing. My new favourite activity just happens to be entirely of the non-verbal variety."

Her eyes sparkled. "Is that so? Well perhaps you will have to show me again, Agent DiNozzo."

Tony leaned up and kissed her softly. "Probationary Agent David, it would be my pleasure."

A camera flash got their attention and Tony knew McGee would be getting brownie points with Abby for that stunt. Who knew? Perhaps their own awakening could push their beloved geek and Goth in the relationship direction they'd been avoiding for years. After today, Tony believed that anything, even unattainable hopes and dreams, were suddenly possible. He was one of the guys just lucky enough to get one more chance. And someday, he was going to tell their kids the story behind that picture.


	19. 7x23 Patriot Down

Tony found Ziva sitting on a bench outside NCIS after the case was closed. He took the spot beside her and for awhile remained silent, studying her from the corner of his eye. Finally he flexed his fingers, keeping his focus on that act. "Y'know, I was thinking earlier when you answered McGee's question that maybe you'd put too much thought into what you would do if you were in Petty Officer Burrows' shoes."

He could feel the tension and fear radiating off his partner for several long moments before she spoke, her voice stilted with suppressed emotion. "I have...been in her shoes. But there was no chance for justice."

Tony held in his sigh, wiped the sympathy from his expression, buried his pain for her. She would not want to see it. "Have you ever talked about it?"

Her head whipped towards him. "No!"

Tony lifted his hands in surrender. "Easy Zi, I just thought it might help to...get this out in the open. Maybe keeping everything locked up inside isn't doing you any good." He remembered what she'd looked like in Interrogation, imploring Kaylen to fight for herself. That expression in her eyes continued to haunt him.

Ziva rubbed her forehead. "When I was in the IDF a friend in another platoon accused a fellow solider of rape and I learned quickly how taboo that was. She was killed five months later in a missile strike. So when it...happened to me, I kept my mouth shut." Tony reached for her hand, could feel the tremors running through her. "If he had just asked, perhaps..." she trailed off. "But he did not. And once I was...captured in Somalia, worse than the beatings was knowing that, at some point, it was going to happen again." Her voice fell to a whisper and Ziva closed her eyes in anguish at reliving the memories. "And again and again and again."

Tony swallowed. "I'm sorry Ziva."

She snatched her hand away and gave him a blistering look. "I do not want your pity."

He stood his ground. "It's not pity to hate that something like that happened to you, or wish we'd tried to find you sooner. Really, I'm just sorry you've been hurt."

Ziva's ire faded and her shoulders slumped, loose brown hair falling around her face. "I am a little...sensitive today."

That was his apology and Tony took it. He tugged one long curl. "How about I buy you some tea and offer a hug from a friend who cares?"

A smile crossed her lips and Ziva stood. "I will take both, I think."

Knowing how she felt exposed in public places, Tony paid for a steaming cup of tea and waited until they were in the elevator before taking it from her and holding out his arms. Ziva went to him easily, her hands clasped behind his back. Tony rested his cheek on her hair and let the silence envelop them as he gave the best comfort he could think of.

Ziva listened to her partner's strong heartbeat and breathed in his familiar scent, feeling safety and reassurance creeping over her for the first time since the case began. It was with reluctance that they parted some minutes later, but Tony grinned and took her hand, leaving no room for an awkward transition back to work. The doors opened and they let go, returning to their desks ready to fight again for justice. That mission was almost always worth the cost.


	20. 7x13 Jetlag (version 2, stand-alone)

One room, one bed. There were so many other possibilities - two separate rooms, two adjoining rooms, one room/two beds, one room/one bed and a cot. But no, McGee for some reason booked his teammates one room with one bed. Now granted, it was a really nice room - big screen TV, elegant couch, queen bed, gorgeous attached bath, not to mention a lovely little balcony overlooking the city. But it was still Tony and Ziva and one room and one bed.

Ziva had been silent since the front desk clerk has informed them in very polite French that they had only one room with one bed and no matter how many times she asked or what she threatened, the reservation hadn't changed. Tony decided to give her some space by taking a shower, he even locked the door as an added precaution and took his time, enjoying the luxury.

Toweling off, he pulled on sweatpants and a hoody and stepped into the room. His partner was nowhere to be seen and he panicked for a minute, wondering what Gibbs would do if Ziva was arrested for murder in a foreign city. Then Tony scoffed at himself. If Ziva was going to go all ninja Mossad assassin on the front desk guy, she would surely do it without getting caught.

Letting out a breath, Tony looked around and soon found the Israeli out on the balcony, staring into the night. He joined her without a word and leaned on the railing. "Beautiful evening," Tony said at last, as he could only handle not talking for so long. He nudged her with his shoulder when she didn't comment. "What're you thinking about?"

Ziva kept her vigil on Paris. "Ari brought us here for Tali's sixteenth birthday. Papa did not like the idea, so we snuck away without telling him." A faint smile graced her lips. "We had such a happy weekend. Ari and I spoiled Tali with anything and everything. We stayed up late into the night and talked about our memories of being children. We took her dancing and made a handsome French boy have a turn with her. We ran up all the steps of the Eiffel Tower to see the view from the top, and stayed until the stars came out so she could make a wish on the first one. Tali's laughter was so light and carefree, untainted by the darkness Ari and I had to bear." She swallowed. "It is one of my best memories but also one of the saddest. A month later Tali was dead, a year after so was Ari, and by my own hand." Ziva turned to him "Did you know that?"

Tony nodded. "Yeah, I did."

Her brow furrowed. "How?"

He shrugged. "I investigate, that's what I do. Gibbs never would've trusted you so easily unless you'd done something to prove it. The rest wasn't so hard to figure out."

Ziva seemed troubled by his revelation. "Am I a bad person Tony?"

Tony shook his head slowly. "'Do what you have to for family,'" he quoted reverently. "You didn't know then that family is what we'd become, but you protected Gibbs and that was the right thing to do."

She was quiet for several moments. "I am sorry about Kate."

Tony looked at her. "So am I. But you're my partner and I wouldn't change that. You mean too much to me." He suddenly realized what he'd said and his eyes widened. "To us...to the team," Tony added quickly, though his feelings were clear, and she smiled slightly.

"You are my best friend Tony."

He turned, sliding his fingers into her hair, and kissed her gently. Not a kiss born of passion or pity, but simply a heartfelt gesture to offer her comfort in some small way. Ziva leaned into him briefly, needing to hold onto the moment, to how it felt to be here with him, then pulled back and tapped his cheek lightly, allowing Tony to wrap her in his arms from behind. They stood that way for awhile, but it was cold out and Ziva's occasional shivers finally drew Tony indoors, pulling his partner by the hand. He got settled on the couch while Ziva went through her bedtime routine and prepared to stay there for the night. When she left the bathroom, she wandered over to him and held out her hand. Tony took it with a smile and let his partner lead him to the bed. They got in as if they'd done it a hundred times and Ziva drifted into dreams while Tony kept her cocooned in his arms, content to watch his beautiful best friend sleep, for once at peace. It was a sight worth staying awake for.


	21. 7x18 Jurisdiction

In the squadroom late at night Tony brought a large bowl of popcorn and two drinks out to share with his partner. "Are you ready for the adventure of a lifetime?"

She rolled her eyes. "It is just a movie, Tony."

His expression was all righteous indignation. "How dare you. Is Mickey just a mouse? Ringling Brothers just a circus?"

Ziva looked at him like the answer should be obvious. "Yes!"

Tony sighed, apparently giving her up for a lost cause. "Well you see, that's why you don't have any friends."

She turned to face him indignantly. "I do have friends."

"Really?" He held up the clicker and pressed play. "Then what are you doing with me, watching a movie on a Friday night at work, huh?"

Ziva stopped sipping her drink but spoke slowly and didn't look at him. "You are my friend."

Tony's tone was curious. "Really?"

She stared straight ahead. "No. My date cancelled."

He was quick with the response. "Mine too."

Ziva raised an eyebrow, not believing him in the slightest, and turned to her partner, hesitating before asking. "Does this count as a date then?" Four years in America and many customs and rules still confused her.

Tony fixed a startled gaze on her. "Rule 12 Zee-vah?"

Her brow furrowed. "So this is...not a date?"

The way she said it made him think. "This is not a date," he confirmed, surprised to see a shadow of disappointment cross her face. "And since it isn't a date, maybe we can do it again sometime."

Interest flickered in her eyes as she felt out his offer. "You...want to...not go on a date with me?"

Tony nodded. "As long as we're not breaking Rule 12 of course."

A smile tugged at her lips. "Of course. And would this not a date include any...date related activities?"

He chuckled. "Well, assuming that's something you'd like to explore, under Rule 12 they aren't specifically prohibited."

Ziva twirled her straw. "That would be nice. But not dating could be complicated, so...slow, yes?"

Tony tapped his fingers against his cup. "Absolutely. I doubt anyone has ever tried not dating before, so we can make up our own rules for how things are done."

She tilted her head to the side and regarded him carefully. "You planned this."

He gulped and shifted uneasily in his chair. "What makes you say that?"

Ziva raked slender fingers through her wavy hair. "You did not run away when I asked what this was."

Tony rubbed his face nervously and shrugged, trying not to stare. "Maybe I hoped this would happen."

Ziva crossed her legs and slouched down a little more in her chair. "Just so no cats die from curiosity, how long have you wanted to ask me on not a date?"

He hemmed and hawed and finally blew out his breath. "Since I saw you in Cartagena after four months at sea."

"Really?" Ziva was intrigued. "Huh."

Tony frowned. "Huh what?"

She leaned her head on her hand. "I am glad you asked."

A grin stretched across his face. "Me too Zi, me too."


	22. 9x12 Housekeeping

_A/N: This is my favourite and, for now, the last. I'm still taking requests if there's any moments between S4-9 that you want to see extended. Thanks for the support, I'm glad there's still a few people sticking around to see what happens. You guys are awesome! :) ~Aliyah_

"So EJ is...gone?" Ziva asked, trying not to seem interested.

Tony put his aviator shades on. "And safe, for a change."

Ziva looked up. "May I ask where?"

Tony fussed with his hair. "Some place quiet, with someone she can count on, hopefully."

Ziva tilted her head to the side but kept her eyes on her desk. "That is the word, is it not? Hopefully. Even when you think you can count on someone, you often cannot."

Tony perked up and removed the sunglasses. "Do I detect a blip on the Ray-dar?"

She glanced up and feigned annoyance. "I would rather not discuss it."

_Yeah, right_, Tony thought. _If that was the case, the subject wouldn't've come up. "_Well," he began, focusing on his shades so she didn't feel pressured, "at least EJ and I parted...friends. Agent Cruz seems to have uh, some communication issues."

Ziva met his eyes again. "Yes, and I am losing my patience."

Tony saw his chance. "As well you should," he retorted, matching her indignance. He stood and walked over to his partner's desk, sitting on the edge. "You know, you and I, we have a lot in common in that respect."

Ziva chuckled. "You think?"

Tony was getting more serious with every passing second. "I don't think, I know."

His gaze was intense and Ziva tried not to get sucked into another moment that would only be over at the first interruption. "Well, then I am...grateful to have someone in my life who is just as...romantically dysfunctional as I am." Her laughter was a cover and Tony's expression changed.

"Agent David, do you really consider me to be...in your life?"

Their eyes locked as if not a force in the world could tear them apart. Then the phone rang and Ziva looked at the caller ID in consternation. Tony read her like a book and felt her disbelief. "No."

Ziva confirmed his fear. "Yes."

"Seriously?" He had to call now, when they were so close to being honest for once?

Ziva stared down at her phone, then back at him. "I mean, what should I say?"

Tony swallowed back everything he wanted and this time thought only of her dreams. "Say hello."

Ziva frowned. "You have never liked Ray. Why are you encouraging this?"

He stared into her eyes and told her the utter truth. "I want you to be happy."

Her entire expression conveyed wonder at the emotion behind his conviction. Looking between the man willing to give her up, even if it meant sacrificing his happiness for hers, and the ringing phone in her hand, Ziva made the right decision for once and pressed a button to dismiss the call. Without moving from her place in front of her partner, she sent off a quick text to Ray, ending their half-hearted attempt to make this work, and set her phone aside.

"I already am happy," Ziva revealed quietly, "here with you. This is my home."

Tony barely dared to breathe. "Does that mean what I think it means?" His heart beat uncomfortably out of rhythm, afraid to hope while he waited for her answer.

Ziva smiled softly. "You called me priceless, what do you think?"

Tony reached out to grasp her waist, bringing her to stand between his legs. "I meant it." Even a year ago when things were just starting for her and Ray, he'd known what he stood to lose. "That's what you are to me Ziva." He raised his hand to her cheek. "No one could ever take your place."

Ziva's eyes grew suspiciously shiny and her gaze never wavered from his as she read there everything they'd never been able to say to each other. Drawn by a power she couldn't control, Ziva leaned in. Tony didn't leave her courage unanswered, meeting her lips with his and sliding his fingers into her hair. It was silky smooth and the urge to bury both his hands in the thick curtain of dark tresses falling over her shoulder was nearly overwhelming, but he wanted to concentrate on the moment and what it was like to finally be together in this way. The kiss was slow, each taking their time to explore the connection they shared, and tinged with the years of experience that had separated them.

Finally Tony pulled away and gave her a half-grin, indulging his desire and twirling a piece of straightened hair around his finger. "Well, was it worth the wait?"

Ziva could barely think when everything within her craved more. More of them, more of this closeness, more of him touching her, holding her, kissing her like she was a treasure, a gift, loved. She smiled briefly before closing her eyes and letting her mouth find his again. "Yes," Ziva whispered in-between heartbeats.

Tony wasn't about to stop her from having everything he was offering and cupped the back of her head in his hand, tilting his head slightly to get a better angle. Each touch was focused and deliberate, and for an undetermined amount of time the two stood, Tony leaning against her desk and Ziva melting into him, sharing languid, achingly intimate caresses that left her nearly senseless and never wanting to stop. There was no hurry, no rush, nothing to take away from the beauty of discovering at long last that the line they'd flirted with for years wasn't nearly the hurdle they'd thought.

Undisturbed in the peace of the empty office, Tony and Ziva truly learned what Sayda had meant when she talked about soulmates. All the pieces fell into place and in the dust that rose from their crumbling walls, nothing remained to keep them apart. It was unclear how much time had passed before Tony took a break from the endless pleasure of kissing her to catch his breath and pulled her close, his arms wrapped around her securely, a confirmation Ziva hadn't even realized she was missing. There was nothing else that mattered but this moment and the two of them finally in the right place at the right time.

When at last they parted from each other, Tony took in her flushed cheeks and bright eyes and ran his thumb over her bottom lip. "I love you Ziva," he whispered. "I've waited years to be able to tell you that."

Ziva shook her head, bewilderment replacing some of the contentedness behind her chocolate gaze. "Why now?"

"Because," he breathed out, "I realize now that if I don't step up, someone else will, and I don't want to lose you that way. Not because we didn't work, but because I never tried."

She swallowed reflexively, gripping his hand in hers. "I cannot say-"

Tony cut her off, his finger pressed gently to her perfect, full lips. "I'm not asking for a promise Ziva, you don't have to say anything. I know what this year has looked like for you. I know your trust has been damaged and your hopes shattered once again. If I were you I don't think I'd be brave enough to give it another shot." He paused his speech to drop a quick kiss on her tempting mouth, loving how she responded so freely and easily, like they'd always been able to do this. "But you have so much more courage than me. And I hope, in time, you might think that we are worth the risk."

Ziva's eyebrows drew together. "If you are not asking for anything, then what are we doing?"

He let his lips slide over hers again, barely able to tear himself away to give her question the answer it deserved. "Kissing, touching, talking, being honest like we should have done years ago. Going out for drinks, watching movies in our pjs on weekends, cuddling on the couch after a long day, holding on when we're all that's left to hold onto." Tony reached up to tuck some hair behind her ear. "You don't have to give me forever Zi, just give me this moment and the next one. Give me tonight and tomorrow and the night after that. Let me in, let me stay, let me sleep on the couch so I don't have to say goodbye. And then, when you're ready," he brushed his lips across her knuckles, "say it back, say yes, and I'll be whatever you want me to be."

Ziva closed her eyes, unable to comprehend the breadth of what he'd just offered. It was an unexpected gift, given without strings attached, and she had no idea how to handle it. "You have always been there," she whispered, "even when I did not deserve it."

"And I always will be," he affirmed, " as long as life gives us." He brought his hand up to rest on her cheek, smiling when she moved into his touch on her skin. "You've had my back all this time too. And for the record, you always deserved my loyalty." Tony kissed her leisurely, like he had all the time in the world, and pulled back so she could see the joy in his face. "We're partners Ziva, this is what we do."

A smile tugged at her lips and she willingly went into his arms again, listening with some amusement to Tony's racing heart. "Okay," she said at last. "I will give you moments and nights. I will even share my couch." Ziva lifted her eyes to meet his. "I do not want to be alone anymore. And I, too, am tired of saying goodbye."

His kiss landed at her hairline as he tried to suppress the grin that wanted to burst forth. "Okay then." He moved away from her slowly, not really wanting this time to end but needing to take her at her word before she came to her senses and changed her mind. Tony grabbed his coat and backpack and held his arm out to her. "Let's go get that drink, shall we?"

Ziva picked up her bag, threaded her arm through his, and leaned her head on his shoulder. "Yes, we shall."

And that, it seemed, summed everything up. Those two words were all the promise Anthony DiNozzo needed until Ziva could finally, finally, let herself say yes.


End file.
